Move on

Hari ni….

Aku dah buat keputusan nak lupakan dia. Cinta yang aku rasa dah 7 tahun, yang aku dah kenal 11 tahun, lebih separuh dari hidup aku. Aku akan lupakan.

Memang dah banyak kali aku patut move on tapi kali ni betul betul buat aku nak move on.

Dia tak tahu aku macam mana ketakutan yang aku rasa sampaikan aku kena mintak tolong dia. Kerisauan mak aku sampai mak aku suruh minta tolong dia. Aku rasa malu nak minta tolong dia even dah whatsapp sebab terpaksa. Mungkin selama kitorang kenal, dia still tak kenal aku macam mana. Kalau aku malu atau segan nak cakap sesuatu, aku akan cakap “eh tkpelah… macam merepek je…” or seangkatan dengannya. Aku memang macam tu tapi dia tak tahu aku macam mana. Dia abaikan aku yang minta tolong dia. Macam mana dia selalu abaikan aku dulu.

Kalaulah dia tahu kenapa aku minta tolong dia and apa pertolongan yang aku perlu tu…. Kalaulah dia masih ada common sense untuk tanya “takpe cakap jelah, tolong apa?’…. Kalaulah dia tahu ketakutan aku sampai aku minta tolong dia…. Tapi cara dia abaikan aku kali ni betul betul buat maruah aku tercalar, terasa dihina dan diperbodohkan sangat. Terasa macam diri ni tak layak terima pertolongan dari dia. Aku takkan biar diri aku rasa perasaan tu lagi.

Terima kasih sebab dah buka mata saya. Saya dah faham yang awak dah tak ada rasa ingin tahu pasal saya. Tak ada rasa risau. Tak ada rasa tertanya tanya. Tu pertolongan terakhir yang saya boleh minta dari awak tapi awak dah abaikan saya dan buat saya faham. Terima kasih. 

-Vanilla Cupcake ♥

PERMULAAN BARU

I won't delete my past posts because it's already became a part of me and it is my memories.

But. I'm starting new. It's tiring to love someone, to miss him, want to hear to his voice, want to see him, wait for him and hoping for him.

After some time passes, my heart feel at ease. It's a good thing to be free and to be independent.

I don't have any bad feeling for someone that I used to love. I just thank him truthfully because shows me the meaning of life and shows me the new side of the world that I never knew.

Sekarang ni,

Rasa macam dah tak perlu nak mencari cinta, biar dia datang dengan sendiri.

Kalau jodoh dah sampai, terima.

Alhamdulillah

It's for the future ♥

My schedule for this year is so packed. Isnin, selasa and khamis balik pukul 5. Rabu balik 430. Next month, plus with my account tuition on Monday's night. Harini first time balik pukul 5, sampai rumah pukul 615. Masa dalam van tadi, aku fikir 'boleh survive ke aku macam ni? Dengan homework lagi, penat lagi. Demmit.' But then, I realised that this is all for my future. It's only for a year, I'll be fine, In shaa Allah. If I succeed then, I can be a daughter that my parent can be proud of and a future wife that Izzat can be proud of. Amin☺

Ya Allah, semoga Siti Amirah binti Abdul Salam, Izzat Mukmin bin Abdul Munir serta pelajar tingkatan 5 2013 berjaya dengan cemerlang dalam SPM dan hidup mereka. Kau permudahkanlah segalanya bagi mereka. Amin :) ♥

-Vanilla Cupcake ♥

2013

Hello, Assalamualaikum ☺ It's 2013 and it's a war! I'm 17 and clearly, I will be sitting on SPM. 

Mum, dad, I want this as a present if I got 6A+ and above. Please pleasee pleaseee *wink wink*.

or maybe this?

Haha angan-angan semata-mata. Tapi apa pun, I must study smart for a bright future! ♥

Oh btw, I'm in 5 Pengurusan 2 this year. 

Account's student can't enter Teknik Kuantan's precious Bestari class.

Sad account is sad.

-Vanilla Cupcake ♥

Assalamualaikum

Dah lebih 5 bulan tak berupdate. I think I just can say that, my life is so busy and I'm being so lazy lately. Too much homework burden to think of. 

Me and Izzat are still like usual. No small fight, no big fight just a cute little fight. Haha :3 Alhamdulillah, we havn't had any serious fight yet. Everything is going smoothly. Please take a note, he is not just my boyfriend but my husband-to-be so we are in this relationship seriously, not to have fun or play around. Nothing to tell you here because to me, our relay is too precious that only we know how we loved all this time and for the next next next day after this. He's that one person that can make me smile like crazy just by saying "Hye", my heart alredy had it comfirmed that he is the one for me. You and me forever until jannah. InsyaAllah :’) 

-Vanilla Cupcake ♥

Love Rain

‘Love has two faces of happiness and sadness.

I think love and rain are similar to each other, love are many like the rain.’

‘Love means never having to say you’re sorry?

Because love is sincere. You konow each other heart, I guess you don’t need to say sorry.’

-My favourite line in the drama Love Rain ♥-

-Vanilla Cupcake ♥

Be Strong, Girls.

Harini, semua budak perempuan 4 Bestari berkumpul dengan Teacher Sadariah after school session dari pukul 3.30pm to 6.00pm. Fuhh lama, gelak tawa, tangisan, semua ada selama 2 jam 30 minit tu. First of all, kitorang berkumpul sebab masing-masing ada masalah. Maybe teacher dah dapat banyak aduan, complains and some more about our own classmate. We are talking about each other. About his attitude, her attitude. We are talking behind each other back. Maybe yang perempuan nampak kesalahan and keburukan budak lelaki, lelaki nampak kesalahan and keburukan budak perempuan. Tapi kitorang tak pernah nak luahkan isi hati. Yes, kitorang langsung tak rapat sesama sendiri. Ada yang macam nak bergaduh, mengejek sesama sendiri. Entahlah, tak boleh nak cerita dekat sini. Kalau korang masuk 4 Bestari, baru korang akan faham. Kelas terlalu pasif. Sampai boleh buat kitorang stress, tak ada siapa suka suasana macam ni. Lelaki dengan lelaki sajaa, so perempuan? Apa lagi, dengan perempuan lah. 

Ni bukan suasana kelas yang sepatutnya. Teacher pun kata, dalam kelas, kita kena mesra. Macam adik-beradik. Bukan nak mintak rapat macam pasangan kekasih. Tak, Taknak pun macam tu. Just biasa-biasa. At least we can talk to each other like a friend, teach each other the subjects that we don’t understand like a teacher and student and smile to each other like a family. 

Macam biasa, lelaki kena lah bertindak dulu kan? Man should lead the woman. Tadi time cakapcakap dengan teacher, teacher pesan 'Kalau dah tak ada cara nak buat korang classmate ni berbaik and rapat, joining each other, you girls have to stay strong. You must protect and topup each other.' Cerita teacher buat kitorang sedar yang betapa orang sekeliling sangat berharga. Bila dah tak ada, baru lah kita nak rasa sedih. But apa pun yang jadi, yes. Kita kena stay strong. Selagi kita nak stay dalam kelas tu, kita kena kuat. Kita nak menuntut ilmu, bukan nak bergaduh and nak stress-kan diri.


4 BESTARI, I HOPE WE ALL CAN BE LIKE A FAMILY, NOT A STRANGER :')

Teacher, thanks for those meaningful advice and moralable story you told us. You are the best teacher I ever had. May Allah bless you and live a long and happy life.

We love you, Teacher Cik Nor Sadariah binti Tajuddin ♥

-Vanilla Cupcake ♥

Homeworksssss :C

SOME of my homework. Some? Haha. Maybe -.-'

I'm saying this all the time ;

"I'll have to start doing my homework."

"I had to do my homework"

But still, I'm not doing my homework.

I wish there is no homework =<

No homework, no homework, no homework

it would be lovely, it would be great,

it would be as good as chocolate cake.

-Vanilla Cupcake ♥

You love homework? Your teacher, mother, father, grandmother, grandfather, sibling and all you relatives must be proud of you -.-'

Boy + snooker = ♥

Boy + snooker = ♥ ?

Haha, maybe. Sampai tak ingat dunia main snooker. Nasib baiklah aku ni bukan jenis yang kuat merajuk. Kalau tak, dah lama jadi perang dengan segala ribut petir datang. Haha, kalau macam tu, baru tahu serabut. Haha, kay abaikan lah pasal tu. Tadi keluar dengan Aina Fatin, adik Ariff, and lain2.

Berjam-jam aku dengan diorang, 1 jam je aku dengan Izzat. Haha, at least dapat jumpa daripada tak dapat jumpa terus ;) I'm still happy even for an hour. Aku rasa aku faham something. Girls, kita patut takut kalau kita marah atau merajuk dengan lelaki. Bila dia dah serabut, kita tak boleh nak agak apa yang ada dalam fikiran lelaki. Kalau bernasib baik, dia akan pujuk. Kalau tak, faham-faham je lah. Lelaki, kalau mood dia dah down, hmm. I just don't know. Girls, we must try our best to always save the relationship for our love. Think using our brain, not heart. But never let your heart hurt. It's painful, dear. You know, right? Now, I'm trying my best to always save my relationship with Izzat even there is no problem. I don't want Izzat just as my lover, but I want him as my life partner a.k.a husband that is halal in the presence of Allah, insyaAllah :)

-Vanilla Cupcake ♥

Life without love is like a tree without blossoms or fruit.

Relationship last long because two people made a choice: To keep it, fight for it and work for it.

Yes, we are sibling.

Wow, dah 1 bulan 5 hari aku tak jenguk blog nii. Macam apa pun taktahu lah. Oh yes, sebelum aku lupa, Assalamualaikum:)

Sebelum terlambat lagi, tiga hari lepas birthday Abby, kakak Izzat. And the most importantly to me, that day is my only and one biological brother, Abang Li. Ismail Nubli. Happy Belated Birthday, Abang and Abby. Abang, semoga panjang umur, murah rezeki. 

Iloveyou, AbangLi ♥ Dah bertahun kita tak sambut birthday abang sengan family kan? And kita pun dah tak rapat macam dulu lepas peristiwa tu. So sad bila fikir semula. Even aku and abang dah okay, but we are not as closed as other siblings. Sometimes it makes us cry  whenever this topic comes out. Tapi faktor jarak umur 14 tahun pun penyebab aku and abang tak rapat macam adik beradik lain, We don't know what each of us wants, what each of us feels and what we likes, we just don't know. But lately, I try to get closed to you, and you are being nice and tender to me. This May, my family and I will go to Penang Islang for holidays. Abang, I hope we can have a great time together after a long time. I miss the old us. Back to when I was 5. The last year that I still can laugh with your jokes and you laugh to my jokes, we used to be like that. Now, a bit awkaward. But still, we are Sibling. Biological sibling. Iloveyou my only and one brother, Ismail Nubli bin Abdul Salam ♥

-Vanilla Cupcake ♥

“When everything goes to hell, the people who stand by you without flinching -- they are your family. ” 

Little things messed me up

 Hmmm?

Lama tak up-to-date. Tak ada masa, masa semua habis dekat homework and texting je. Exam dah habis. Result pun dah dapat sikitsikit. Nanti dah dapat semua, aku tulis berapa result aku semua sekali. Makin lama, makin banyak masalah. Apa masalah dengan akak tu? Haih tak faham aku. Kau pun sama kawan, kau terukkan lagi keadaan! :’( Hmm, banyak masalah. Ni yang buat aku rindu izzat sangat sangat ni. Nak izzat, ineedyou b:’( Haish, kenapa dengan aku malam ni? :’( Don’t be like a kid lah hmm.

-Vanilla Cupcake ♥

Tears flow down without a certain reason. I just don't know why!

-Vanilla Cupcake ♥

 

Yes aku tahu kawan dia punya perangai memang macam tu, cakap ikut sedap mulut dia je. But apa yang dia cakap tu mendalam. Buat aku terfikir-fikir je. Hmm dah lah. Love need trust. Taknak fikir bukanbukan. It’ll never happen. Hope so.

-Vanilla Cupcake ♥

Just out.

 

Lalala. Home sweet home. Haha -.-‘ Daripada bawa aku balik macam ni, kenapa tak benarkan je dari awal? Haih, kan aku dah sayang gila hostel tuu. But okay lah jugak dapat jadi outsider. Berkurang 10% rindu aku dekat izzat. 10% je, ada 90% lagi :p Ya Allah, rindu gila dekat Izzat. Memang tak sah kalau tak fikir pasal awak setiap masa, b :> Dekat sekolah, apa apa hal yang menyerabutkan aku, gangguan oleh bermacam jenis perangai budak lelaki dekat sana, buat aku makin rindu dekat izzat. Sebab diorang semua tak ada sorang pun yang macam izzat. Menyerabutkan je belaka. Haha, myspecial one :D Susah tahu nak cari, kalau ada pun, tak mungkin sama Haha.

Kalau duduk asrama, satu je yang tak best, tak cukup rehat. Jadual harian terlalu padat. Memang letih, tapi bila dengan kawan kawan, memang tak rasa letih pun, seronok ada lah. Makin lama, makin best sekolah dekat Teknik Kuantan nii. Sebab dah rapat dengan ramai orang kan. Belajar pun okay. Still tengah cuba nak biasakan diri. Nadia, Ain, Wani, Syuhada, Beena, Mimi, Nina, Ibrah, Mimi jafar, Aja, Nazirah, Qila, Shira, dorm H and 4 Bestari’s students, they are awesome (Y) But still rindu Sitikaimirainina, Intan,  TP and Syakirah. Rindu SMKC.

-Vanilla Cupcake ♥

Bye, Assalamualaikum.

Esok dah daftar masuk dekat asrama SMTekknik Kuantan, and on the same day with my 3^rd month anniversary with Izzat. Tak nak fikir sangat. Buat macam biasa je lahh :> Duit syiling satu purse penuh aku bawak Haha manalah tahu ada masa nak bergayut dekat public fon :D Hmm, sedih nak tinggal semua. Izzat.. Sorry kalau b sunyi time sy tak ada dekat rumah. Jaga diri tau. Please, busy-ing yourself like always with LEPAK-ING. But jangan lupa syg pulak :D It’s better if you think of me always ;) Awak saya punyaaa sahaja and ofcourse saya awak punyaa sahaja. ILOVEYOU Izzat Mukmin Abdul Munir. Hihi :3 Sesuatu hubungan tu akan tetap utuh walaupun tak selalu berhubung and jumpa kan? Kita macam tu kan Izzat? ;) Sitikaimirainina, Intan, TP and Syakirah, take care. Jangan nakal nakal kayy. Izzat pun, jangan nakal nakal. Haha. Pray for me. Hope everything’s just fine and going smoothly. This will be my first experience in hostel. All the best for me :D

-Vanilla Cupcake ♥

meet Cha Cha

Bye to my Express Music  5800

And Hello to my new htc Cha Cha.

Haha, interesting name, rite?:D Sedih pulak rasa. Express music tu elok lagi but yes ego tinggi nak tukar yang baru. Even just a phone, banyak kenangan  dengan express music tuu. Happy moment, sad moment, stressful moment, exciting moment, always with it.  Dia abang katang saya, saya campak,  saya TERcampak, still boleh guna and sihat jee dia:3 Haha, ganasnyaaa -___-‘ Sokayy Cha Cha, I will be nice to you. Damn, tak aci lah aku sorang je kan? You too Cha Cha, please be nice to me :3

-Vanilla Cupcake ♥

When a girl loves you

 ‘‘No matter how many times you hurt her, no matter how big the mistake, she always finds a way to forgive you. No matter what you did, no matter how stupid you acted, she  finds it in her to work things out with you, to compromise and keep the two of you strong. They don’t give up on relationships easily, They always want to protect it. Sometimes, they get jealous, sometimes they sad, sometimes they angry, they are emotional. You may seem they overreacted sometimes, but  they never noticed that, because all that they know, they love you and they doesn’t want to lose you from their life. That’s a girl.’’

Malu malu malu malu malu :3 Kenapalah dengan aku semalam? Cemburu tak tentu pasal. Menda kacik macam tu pun nak jeles. Kan kan? Haha –‘ Tapi cemburu  tanda sayang. Bukannya aku boleh kawal semua tu kan? Haha, gila aku tak sayang dia? Hmm, apa  ea b? Gila pun tak sayang awak macam ni. Kan b? Haha:p And one thing Izzat Mukmin, please jangan cakap macam tu dah lepas nii, it scared me:( Kadang2 pun, still teringat lagi ayat tuu. Sy taknak dengar dahhhh. Sy taknak kehilangan awak dah;) Peepaallls, don’t be afraid, just show your love to the one you love. And, it’s not a crime to feel jealous, right? Jealousyy, it’s a normal thing to anyone who are in love. I started to realize it, but it still make me shy Haha –‘ There’s a quote saying ‘Sometimes it's better not to show them that it hurts, that you're angry, that you're jealous. Sometimes it's just better that way.’ Butt, sometimes, you just have to show it, because it might hurt you more inside if you always keep it by yourself ;)

-Vanilla Cupcake ♥

 “I think I wished for you all of my life, so please stay. Stay here with me, in my heart. Please always be here. Please always be here, in my life”

Hai, assalamialaikum.

Hihi, lama tak update. Naik form 4 nii, banyak gilaaa HOMEWORK  >:( Sekali bawa balik, ada 5 tingkat :p SITIKAIMIRAININA, Intan, TP and Syakirah, I miss you guys:( Tak ada siapa boleh ganti korang dalam hidup aku. Izzat pun :( Time ada subject yang aku tak boleh focus, diorang lah yang aku asyik fikir and rindu, lagilagi Izzat. 

Hmm, mesti nak tahu kan macam mana lah SITI AMIRAH dekat SM Teknik Kuantan. Sama tak dengan dekat SMK Cenderawasih? Best tak SM Teknik Kuantan? Jawapannya, SITI AMIRAH yang dekat SMK Cenderawasih dengan dekat SM T eknik Kuantan BERBEZA sangatsangat ;) Hihi aku diamm jeee, muram jee. Kalau dekat SMKC dulu, aku lah bising sekali dalam kelas, and ada sebab untuk selalu senyum :) Ye lahh, dekat sekolah aku tu, dapat kelas Bestari, untuk budakbudak 7A & 8A. Soo, yang aku kenal just Syahmi Irfan. Sebek muka masuk kelas tuu. Budak2 dalam tuu semua kuat belajar, belajar jee diorang. Baguihh betul. Senyap lah kelas kalau tengah focus. Haha. And Alhamdulillah, cikgu2 dekat situ okay. But aku still rindu cikgu2 SMKC dulu.. Emm, kalau kelas Pengurusan 1, sama lah dengan Ibrah. Nina n Ibrah duduk asrama, so diorang dah ada kawan2 asrama diorang. Soo aku yang sunyi ni terpaksa lah jadi ramah sikit dengan Perempuan:D . SIKIT je lah sebab cakapnya sepatah dua. Yang lain, lebihkan senyuman :) Hihi. So, dengan muka tebal aku niii, dapat lah kawan. Okay but still kekok. Maybe we need some times to get closer and friendly to each other.

time belajar -> Syazrina & Husna

time rehat -> Hmm? Still tak menentu. But nina aku lah yang setia ;) Time rehat and balik, cari aku dekat kelas. Thanks Allah I got a friend like her ♥Hihi

time balik -> Sabrina (budak 2^nd intake yang sekali dengan aku, outsider jugakk Hihi) and sometimes Nina teman. 

And some more -> Najiah, Ain, Alia, Nadia and Wani .

Guys, wish the best for me at Teknik Kuantan.

My Vanilla Cupcake, Sitikaimirianina, Intan, TP and Syakirah,

There will nobody else can replace you peeepaaaal’s place in my heart. Always on the top ♥ 

Loveyou:*

-Vanilla Cupcake ♥